Monday, June 18, 2012

Daddy Day 2012


Today is a day that's very close to my heart. Father's Day...or as I love to say...Daddy Day (since that's what I called my father from the time I was a little girl until...well, now!)

Ever since my daddy passed away a year and a half ago, I'm never exactly sure what to do on days like today. I consider myself a pretty strong person, but as I have learned and shared, grief is unpredictable beyond what I understand and so I just never can tell. I wonder if all of the statuses and quotes and photos on Facebook will make me sad or if I won't even think about it. I wonder if I should do something or just ignore the whole thing. I even wonder if I should avoid people since they won't know what to say and I won't know how to respond, or be around people just in case I need the support. SIGH (haha)

Anyways. Usually in the end, I am a celebrater and a memory maker. I want to make a lovely memory even out of the roughest moments and seasons in life. So, I decided that today in honor of my daddy I would visit the Butterfly House at the Pacific Science Center and just spend some time looking around and writing in the memory book I have started for my daddy.

My daddy LOVED butterflies. He was fascinated with them since he was a kid and he certainly passed that on to me. So many of my childhood memories with my daddy include a butterfly net (that we hand made together) and a large field of grass or railroad tracks where there were lots of wild flowers and in turn lots of butterflies.

Butterflies are just such a beautiful symbol of life and the hard changes we MUST go through in order to become. 

The hardest part about losing my daddy in this season is that a lot of times I simply forget. I don't remember to be sad and I don't even think about it for weeks sometimes. So, for me today was about allowing myself the time to sit and reflect and remember and celebrate him in my heart.

Another thing that makes me sad is this. I wonder if I would have celebrated him as much and thought of him so often if her weren't gone. If him being gone has led me to idolize him more than I actually did. And that leads me to say this.

Embrace every moment you have with your daddy. Honor him now while he is here with you and make sure you tell him how you feel always because you may never get another chance. What I wish most is that I were able to catch my daddy up on my life, get every ounce of wisdom and advice from him on video and tell him everything I have learned and realized about him since he's been gone. Don't miss those opportunities :)

I have one little box that I treasure with my most cherished memories of my daddy. I thought I would share some of them with you today :)

This is  a small butterfly box I gave my daddy one year as a present. It now holds all the things that were his that I treasure most. 

This is my most precious possession from my daddy. A hand written card that he gave me after he went away to a mens' retreat one weekend. 

I had some more photos that I really love and would love to share with you, but my uploading
situation is not working out and my bed is calling! Perhaps I will find a way to share them with you tomorrow. 

Until then...HAPPY DADDY DAY!

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