randomness...?

January 14, 2009

so it's been way too long since i have written a good ol' note.

i don't have anything particular to write about. just really want to write.

mostly because i am happy. really genuinely happy. not that fake kind of happy that comes when some random goodness lands in your day...i mean like i wake up happy...and all that random goodness that comes along in my day just piles on and makes me smile that much more.

it's joy.

i love where i am in life. i love this place...litereally and generally speaking.

i love central bible college. the person i am becoming here surrounded by so many mezmorizing people. i am so blessed with friendship and love and encouragement and an atmostphere unlike any other i have ever experienced.

i love this point in my life. i am learning to be a grown up...which some of you never thought would happen ha ha...but i am learning how to keep me in the adult that is becoming. to still live and laugh and take deep breaths and not forget to notice the crunchy leaves on the sidewalk but to understand that with my age and with my calling comes responsiblity.

i love my calling. it took a lot of years and a lot of fighting...but i can honestly say that i will go wherever God decides to send me...through whichever doors he decides to open and whenever he chooses to open them.

there is nothing holding me back.

when i lay down to sleep at night, i am content. and more than content i am completely at peace. because God has shown me, though i fought this as well, to take one day at a time. to face things as they come because that is alll that i can do. so now when i lay my head on the pillow at night, i am sure that i have done all that i could possibly do that day and that i must let it fade away because tomorrow is a brand new chance for everything...and every promise of God will be fresh and new and just as full in the morning.

and then there is morning which i have come to love just as much as evening.

when the sunlight pours through our big beautiful window on bowie third and the bright blue curtains cast this glow all around our room.

and i can't wait. despite the tired and the work ahead....i know it will be another thrilling day. another day of adventure and learning and at the end of it i will be a little bit closer to jesus...have a little more knowlege to put towards the things he has called me to...and maybe just hopefully i will be ever so slightly more like Him than i was yesterday.

and of course everything in between. the people that bless me daily and probably don't even know it. as they sing and jaunt accross campus...or the outburst of laughter at yet another meal time in our beloved caf.

or the trees when they stir in the wind...even the crystal tears that stream down my face as i walk into the bitter cold and crunch my sweet and salty granola bar on the way to class.

or when i am sitting at dinner and i look out my favorite window to see the bare black tree branches forming these spectacular designs against the darkening dusky sky....

those are the moments.

and sure the days are full of annoyances and work and dull moments...but still there is this underlying sense of peace. that all is right with the world....and all of the simple beautiful moments make up in strides for the others scattered throughout.


i have just come to realize how very blessed i am...even in the simplest of things...i hope that perhaps you will take some time today and just find those little spots of joy and beauty in your own life.

that's all...ha ha