Saturday, May 19, 2012

beautiful

March 29, 2009



today i walked into my humble abode on bowie third.

i breathed out deeply trying to push everything i have to do this week out of my mind.

and then i saw it. something so simple. a bouquet of roses hanging to dry from the curtain rod of our beloved window.

and i just smiled.

and then there is my wonderful bamboo plant that sits so serenely on our beautiful window ledge and that i am o so attached to. lately i have been pondering how to get him home for the summer. in case you are wondering...he has a name: mukaki. it means a small order of tree in shona.. the native language of zimbabwe. make fun, but i bet he is the healthiest bamboo plant ever.

and then i thought about all of the darling little kids that had come running for hugs this morning. how excited they get and how their little eyes just lit up and all i had to do was walk into the room.

and then i looked around my room. all of the beautiful faces.

and this song played in the background:

"We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace
But Jesus, would You please . . ."

and well at this point i just knelt beside my bed.

i am so thankful.

and i know you must get sick of reading these notes that just ramble on and on about nonsense.

but i ramble only because i just can't find a way to put it into words...which is so strange for me...because i usually have a lot of words if you know what i mean.

but i just keep looking around and smiling. and really, for all intensive purposes i shouldn't be.

i have a 10 page paper due this friday on some guy that is practically nonexistent. i am tired. i am single. i am 15 hours from home. i just missed state jbq for my little kids in ohio. i have no clue where to get shots or how the heck i am going to get to africa this summer. last night i dropped a 5 pound weight on my toe and now i can hardly walk, and i don't even really for sure know what i am doing here....

but none of that seems to matter.

at all.

i am just truly happy.

and well if there is one thing that i want to be remembered for...

it's joy.

the ability to smile despite and to be absolutely contagious with my laughter.

and i just think, how could i help but be that way when i am as blessed as i am.

papers and bruises and exhaustion and loneliness aside....

i am surrounded by genuine people who love me....professors and friends and family and well jesus.

i have never ever ever ever experienced a day in my life without jesus at my side and i never ever ever have to....

and everywhere i look there is just something beautiful. trees and clouds and fresh air and stars and moon and sunshine and even the little worms that creep out during that first spring rain....

think about all of that...

and then just go ahead and smile...


you know you want to :)




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