“This is real this is me
I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I’ve found who I am there’s no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be, This is me.”
That my friends is a portion of lyrics from the song “This is Me” by Disney Channel star Demi Lovato. What a way to start out a deep and insightful blog post eh?
At any rate, I have always loved that one line in particular which is why of course I named the post after it. It has made the perfect Facebook status update only once before (when I landed myself at THE Central Bible College) and it only seems appropriate once more as I am sitting on my little blue love seat overlooking the Seattle skyline at dusk on this September evening.
I always used to say this about CBC and I think that I will forever say it about Seattle as well. I have no idea how I ended up here, but now that I am here I can’t imagine myself anywhere else.
But that is the beauty of living life with Jesus Christ. When I am faithful to walk in His perfect will and to obey His calling, He is ALWAYS more than faithful to put me right where He needs me. And not only does He get me there, He surrounds me with His favor and love and blessings. Even when I wander and mosey away from that path He’s set before me, either intentionally or accidentally, He gently guides me back and somehow gracefully places me where He needed me all along.
I know this to be true at so many points throughout my life, but I feel like this time Jesus has gone above and beyond! (But doesn’t He always!?) I keep looking around while I am walking down streets here or out of my balcony that overlooks the city…and I just can’t help wondering how in the world I ended up here!
I never ever would have dreamed of doing a church plant, and I had no idea that I would be moving to the west coast. I had my own ideas that seemed to make sense in my little head and within my own understanding. Thankfully, Jesus taught me a long time ago that if I will just trust His ideas and His ways I will be much happier in the end even when I don’t understand what’s happening on the way there. (Now would be a great time to read Isaiah 55)
And now that I am here I believe that even more than I ever have. Jesus realized long before I did that He wasn’t just calling me to a traditional church role. I went to Bible College with narrow minded thoughts about ministry and my calling. Of course I would graduate and become a Children’s Pastor in a church and I mean if I was feeling really crazy then I would become a missionary in Africa….But He had other ideas, bigger ideas, ideas that I could not even begin to imagine.
Along the way I would have opportunities to work with people and ministries and he would just put a little place in my heart for that particular kind of ministry work. By the time I was a year into my education at CBC I was overwhelmed and confused trying to think of someway I could ever even begin to minister in all the ways and to all of the people that I felt burdened for.
And then Anthony came along. Interrupting my sacred watching of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, and my life forever changed.
“You should pray about being a part of this church plant to Seattle, WA.”
That one little sentence God used to change my entire perspective and idea of what my future held. So I did just that, I prayed. Not expecting anything to come of it (MISTAKE) And the more I talked with Anthony, the more I saw how God had been preparing me for this all along. Anthony would talk about the people he felt led to reach and minister to and each of those little pieces would begin to fit together in my head. And as I began to research the city I found that it was not only a place in desperate need of Jesus, but also a place I would love to live!
All of a sudden every BIG dream I had had along the way just seemed silly and pathetic in comparison to this plan that God had been working on and had decided to surprise me with. I am so glad that at this point in my life I had learned to just go with it despite my understanding.
And now as I sit here in MY city, Seattle, WA, I am still so very thankful for a savior, the Creator of the Universe, leading me and guiding me to Exactly where I’m supposed to be.
My heart is heavy for the people who are living every day without Christ and I am passionate each day to find new ways of doing ministry in this place. Not to mention, I LOVE living here. I love the calorie counts next to every item on every menu, I love the water, the sunsets, the beautiful buildings, the quaint little neighborhood feel, and the artistic reputation that it carries.
I just love it here and I love that Jesus has this giant plan laid out in detail just for me. I am just a little piece in a so much bigger picture, but this is MY little piece and I can breathe deep and say I’m EXACTLY where I’m supposed to be.
*Shout out to Josh Watts….I finally updated. Be proud